How To Stop Caring About What Other People Think
In the most non-arrogant way possible.
I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Especially since I joined TikTok. Of course I knew it was a bit cringe, watching my over-poesy self even makes me squirm... a little. I saw the reshares on my Insta story when I would post one, whether they were positive or negative who knows. I saw the tweets about it saying that if you're over 18 you shouldn't be on there. But, I ignored it all. My friends even took the piss a little, but again I ignored it. Not only when isolation kicked in did people start to engage with it and my content rocketed did peoples opinions change. This week I had my first offer from a brand come in for a TikTok collaboration. And thats when it kicked in, none of this would of happened if I cared what people were thinking of me.
I didn't come out the womb dazzled with confidence. Far from it. I was bullied through various parts of school, and I remember crying one night to my mum about some girls and she said "Bibi, these girls... do you want to be like them? No. Then why do you care about what they think of you?". That has stuck with me throughout my life.
My mum put me in weekly drama lessons when I was growing up to help build my confidence. It does help, but this is mainly a mindset thing. You need to stop believing that you need other peoples permission to be okay with yourself. Your self worth isn't determined by them, it's determined by you.
Not everything is about you
I only learnt this two-ish years ago. I was so anxious at my job that anytime my manager would go for a chat with someone I'd be like 'oh god what have I done now'. 9.5 times out of 10 they weren't talking about me at all. Hello, I worked for a huge business with so many problems... as if I thought I was all of those problems?! Similar to when I would pass someone on the street and they'd say something to their friend about me. I'd automatically be like 'oh god they're talking about me, they're saying something bad'. Whereas they could literally be saying 'where shall we go get food'. I have no proof it's about me so now whenever I get that feeling I just switch it into a positive thought of maybe they're saying something nice about my outfit.
People are going to talk about you regardless
We can't control what other people say about us, and they're going to do it whether we know it or not. It's their choice that they want to spend their time and energy discussing someone else (what a sad little life Jane). I'll never forget one of my friends telling me that a group of girls were discussing my Instagram picture in the sixth form common room (I dropped out of sixth form and went to do fashion business at college). They were tearing apart my outfit because apparently it was 'too dressy' for college. At the time I was quite cut up about it, but then... did I want to dress like a basic b*tch? No that's not my vibe. So why would I care about what they have to say? Of course they're going to find my outfit too dressy... they're basic! If I'd listened to them, this blog post wouldn't exist because how could I of started a blog and Instagram from my basic fashion tastes?
What people think of you, is more their problem than yours
If people are commenting negative things about your doings, it's most likely because you've hit an insecurity of theirs. If you've for example let's say, started posting fitness exercises on social media and someone is being negative about it. They could be jealous they don't have the confidence to do something similar - after all, it takes a lot to put yourself out there on social media! When people are negative and insecure about themselves, they will say negative things to put you down making them feel better. They get their confidence from seeing you fail. Trust me, I spent years in a relationship with someone with such low confidence, yet they envied mine so they would constantly belittle me until they saw my confidence drop, just so they could make themselves feel better. But this is their problem, they're the one with this issue not you, so don't allow it to become your problem.
And finally, we didn't watch Cinderella Story to not live by this iconic quote
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